She Is
by Arisa K
Summary: Who is Xu? What does she want most of all?


**Author's Note: This came to me on a whim thanks to SissyHiyah and her undying affection for the underrated Xu so I dedicate this to her. I wanted to touch a little bit on what I think makes her tick, as well as her deeply rooted affections toward a certain someone. She is obscure, but I hope any who read this enjoy it for what it is. Thanks.**

**She is...**

Lithe, wiry and no nonsense, Xu Lang had taken great pride in solidifying her role as a ball buster amongst her peers. Cross your eyes or sneeze wrong and she'd shove a brass knuckled fist up your rectum before you had the opportunity to blink. So you thought you'd pick on the slant-eyed runt? There'd be some gil for your thoughts as she shoved a rolled up quantity down your throat and made you vomit your precious hot dog dinner until your bile was the color of copper. Don't ever talk about her mother - the one she barely remembered. Whether there was a remaining thought of the maternal figure didn't matter, it was simply the principle of the intended insult that would cause her hackles to stand on end give one a makeover in bruises and broken bones. That money maker would have to take medical leave after her fists were through with it.

It was no wonder certain cadets found her a difficult sort, as friends were rare and sometimes fleeting. A boiling hot temper that flashed in an instant of discourse or injustice, she was the fire that you played with and got set on fire for coming too close. A tongue scorched and flickering with a blazing fury, a red-hot lashing along with a stinging backhand was in your future if you found yourself on the wrong side.

She is a warrior.

Xu isn't all brass and barbed wire - there is gold in that chest cavity that gave way at the sight of a tear stricken child, a downtrodden man down on his luck, or a matted mutt with no home and no name. All of these things she could relate to at one point of her life - the piece of shit no one gave a second glance to. The tiny, broken little girl without a home, suddenly without a family thanks to a Malevolent psycho bitch in need of a Successor. The tear stricken little runt was small enough to hide like a mouse, tuck in corners and crevices no one bothered to look. For a time, she entertained the idea of allowing herself to be found, if just to feel what it was like to not starve until the only thing that allowed you to think past the famine was bitter exhaustion. But the words of her mother and father rang like an afternoon bell - do whatever necessary to avoid capture. And so she hid for what seemed an eternity.

There is a part of her that will be forever grateful to Cid Kramer for finding her in that Hyne Forsaken alley; clothes in rags, hair clumped with filth and body not much more than brittle bones with paper white skin. The compassion that reflected from his rain splattered spectacles was an image that even in her adult years she could not hope to purge from her memory.

It is this memory she held firm to, Guardian Forces be damned, as she shoved a balled fist into the boys' face that called her a good for nothing Orphan. It's the memory of a warm hearted smile and an outstretched hand that gave her the courage to plunge the girls' face into the porcelain commode for spitting on her shoes. It's the promise of a better life from the mouth of that tender hearted Headmaster that made her pick out the brass knuckles as her first weapon of choice, and without hesitation, beat the living snot out of the boy who chose to assume she'd never be more to Garden than a pencil pusher. It is the warm embrace of a stranger that caused her to find a friend in a blond haired blue eyed girl who lost herself to her own demons and needed a hand to battle them back into the darkness from whence they came.

When that fucker Almasy chose to squirm his way beneath her skin with a sarcastic bite and a rebellious taunt, it brought about a familiar murderous rage that flared at her center and spread to her fingertips. The Quad was abandoned when she brought her closed fist to his face. His training allowed him to dodge the blow with relative ease, but the follow up kick to the groin dropped him like a brick, unaware his opponent had intentions of fighting dirty.

Xu fought any way that was available. Her knee motioned to connect with his jaw, but despite the pain that danced in his green eyes, he threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around her legs and forcing her body against the ground. The air was knocked from her lungs as her back collided to the ground below, but recovery was swift, attempting to squirm from his grapple. He was crawling his way up as she was slithering back. The hand that found her collar pulled her further down to meet him, the clothing of her SeeD uniform ripping at the seams with the force.

There was hatred coloring their veils as they faced each other, all but snorting in rage as their eyes burned into one another.

She head butted him in the nose before she witnessed him being lifted away by several pairs of hands. Blood red invaded her vision, dripped into her eyes as she took notice of his shattered nose and misshapen skin beneath the sheen. A satisfactory grin spread over her vista before she pushed herself to her feet. The thick aura of impending doom and the promise of more bloodshed in her eye kept anyone's finger from being laid to restrain her from inflicting any further pain to her adversary.

Xu stared the blonde boy down as his silver haired companion tended to his injury. She gathered a careful threat, weaved it with venom and spit. "If you ever talk about Quistis like that again, I'll break your dick off and let you watch me eat it."

She is a defender.

The tears rolled down her beautiful cheeks, her body curled tightly into a fetal position. Golden tresses spilled over Xu's thighs as she carefully brushed the falling liquid crystals from her skin. The blond haired, blue eyed girls' heart was broken, her body trembling with the agony as the pieces fell and shattered into a thousand more.

There was nothing to attack, nothing to punch, nothing to shoot or stab or set aflame, for the boy responsible knew not what he did because that was simply it - he did nothing. The only option available for the warrior, for the defender, was to be a comfort, a rock, a shoulder. It was to be something they both lacked when they were needed most.

She is a mother.

And when the tears dry, and another day passes, she looks on as the blonde haired, blue eyed girl pines for another who barely notices her existence.

Xu Lang will continue to be all of these things and more, in hopes that one day she will turn those brilliant blues her way. Until then, those hands of a runt will embrace the brass, form a shield, and brush the tears. She is a warrior, a defender, and a mother - but...

She yearns to be a lover.


End file.
